Worship

"Thomas said to him, 'My Lord and my God!'"  John 20:28

        In the infinite space between eternity and our frailty, comes grace; quietly, yet urgently; knowingly, but deeply tender; simply, yet profoundly powerful. In its own mysterious way grace comes only in the light of truth, yet never allows the glare of failure to cast a shadow of shame. The stark reality is there must be failure in order for there to be grace.
        As humans, we want to gloss over and ignore sin. It makes us uncomfortable. In our universal brokenness we deny our own and condemn others for theirs, because we're all afraid and hiding. But not grace. Grace acknowledges and accepts. Grace offers invitation, then revelation. Grace offers light, because it was born out of God's eternal light. Only in the light can we be set free.
       Thomas. Didymus. Those were his actual names. That's what he went by, how friends, family, and his community identified him. To us he is known, more often than not, as "doubting Thomas", because somehow adding adjectives makes us feel better.  Not grace. Grace has been known to change names entirely, and it always creates new identities, but it never names us by our failure. Grace calls us by who we can be, who we are becoming, and who we will be, without ever side-stepping why it is needed in the first place.
        Everyone of the disciples there has already seen the Lord. They have already been met by grace in the tumult of their need. But not Thomas. Not yet. They are all gathered together, obviously afraid, as the doors are locked. Thomas is present, but struggling, and likely has been since Jesus was arrested. He can't fit all the pieces together, no matter how hard he tries. Thomas is grieving and probably disillusioned. And yes, he is doubting. Grace isn't afraid of truth. It speaks it without hesitation because it knows that it is truth that sets us free -The Truth, scarred and blood-stained, broken for the truth of our condition.
        Now, to this house, to this broken man Jesus comes. He always comes. Never deterred by locked doors or locked hearts...
"Peace be with you." This is the heart of grace.
"Put your finger here..." This is the invitation of grace.
"See my hands..." This is the revelation of grace.
"Reach out your hand and put it into my side." This is the experience of grace.
"Stop doubting and believe." This is the power of grace.
Grace that calls forth new life.
Grace that gives birth to deep, profound worship.
Grace that leaves Thomas undone, yet miraculously whole.
"My Lord and my God."
For us, like Thomas, there is nothing more to say.